I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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