this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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