I'm lost and stupid without you.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
