WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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