North Korea, Best Korea!
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
