the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
