Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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