she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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