I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i think i have herpe
just one?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
