His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
