New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Boobs are out for the taking
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Randomize
