the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
