i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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