I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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