What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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