So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
