We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
