Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
