Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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