i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
