Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
