After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i just sent this text using only my big toe
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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