you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
