There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
