I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
