you turned your livingroom into a bong?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
