just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
