I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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