oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
