Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
