When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I need a burrito and a hug.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
