I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Randomize
