He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
