Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
