I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
40s are totally the cure
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
