remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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