I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
pop tarts are not kleenex
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
