**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
