So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
