I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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