i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
