So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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