she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Sacagawea was the original milf.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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