i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
