Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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