am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
