I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
