oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just found puke in my bra..
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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