I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
