I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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