Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I don't deserve a penis
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
