I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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